I already described the Mean Girls moment.
There was this girl… The epitome of “entitled white chick”. When she turned 16, her dad bought her a Mercedes-Benz, then she totalled it two weeks later. Her dad said “You’re supposed to wreck your first car” and bought her an Aston Martin.
Every day in my Grade 10 World History class was an adventure in human stupidity. I want to say this was the 2006-2007 year. The girl will be referred to as Queen Cracky and you will find out why.
On the Presidents:
- Teacher: “How many presidents have we had?”
- Student: “43”
- Teacher: “Correct.”
- Queen Cracky: We’ve only been a country for 43 years?!”
- Teacher: “Some believe Cleopatra was poisoned and didn’t kill herself, but it’s highly debatable.
- Queen Cracky: “I’m so glad we live in the 20th century” [it was 2006] “I mean, poison doesn’t even work anymore with vaccines.”
On Julius Cæsar and Shakespeare:
- Student: “About how long after Julius Cæsar died did Shakespeare write the play about him?
- Teacher: “About sixteen hundred years.”
- Queen Cracky: “OH MY GOD! SHAKESPEARE REALLY LIVED THAT LONG?!”
Every time she’d open her mouth… If it were a movie, the soundtrack would halt abruptly with that “vinyl record stopping” sound and we’d all get really quiet and awkward.
- Queen Cracky: “I just don’t understand how people can know so little about everything and get through school.”
Now for why I call her Queen Cracky. She had this awful smoker’s cough from chain smoking during the lunch hour. She was expelled after she was caught in possession of cocaine. They got a warrant to search her car after her dealer cashed the bank cheque she wrote “Pay to the order of: Dealer” additional notes: “Drugs”
And she was one of many.
Everyone has a student like this, unfortunately. I remember a girl in my high school, when asked to define science, merely stammered out:
We also had another girl who believed that the Civil War was between the South and the British. Oh, and my favorite Northern memory:
Girl: “Like…if the wind stops, and your house like, runs on wind mills, won’t your electricity go out?”
Me: “No, because the generators in your house wired to the windmill store the energy overflow so that you can use it after the turbines stop turn—”
Girl: “OH MY GOD DON’T USE SUCH FUCKING BIG WORDS NO ONE ASKED YOU ABIGAIL.”
I fear for our future.
You know what subject seems to be a universal and colossal failure for high schoolers? Geography.
There was a girl who didn’t realize that an ocean separates the West Coast of the USA and Asia. As in, having flown to Korea the past summer, she’d had no idea that her plane flew over the Pacific Ocean. Where in the world she mentally pictured Korea as being located, I can’t even fathom.